Simple ways to help your child strengthen their sports mindset
Parents play a powerful role in developing their child’s sports mindset, often without realising it.
In fact, the important role that parents play in supporting their child’s sports mindset cannot be underestimated.
A scientific review of the role of sports parents found that positive support, enabling independence and balance, having a healthy relationship with their child, and emphasising to their child what’s in their control play a crucial role in the motivation of young athletes [1].
You don’t need to be a sports psychologist to support your child’s sports mindset. By focusing on effort, learning, enjoyment, and emotional support, you’re already helping them build skills that will benefit them in sport—and in life.
Here are practical ways you can support your child’s mental game in a healthy, lasting way.
Support their development of the 4 Key Sports Mindset Skills for Junior athletes:
1. Confidence
Help your child develop inner confidence by encouraging:
Self-talk (“I tried my best”, “I can improve”)
Praise effort, attitude, and improvement, not just results
Avoid comparing your child to teammates or opponents
Confidence grows when children believe in their ability to learn, not just to win.
2. Emotional Balance
Acknowledge emotions after games (e.g. “That looked frustrating”)
Help them name their feelings instead of dismissing them
Model calm behaviour on the sidelines and after games
Support them with simple calming strategies like deep breathing.
3. Focus
Let coaches coach during games
Encourage focusing on what they can control (effort, attitude)
Avoid the post-game overload and analysis.
4. Handling Tough Stuff
Normalise setbacks as part of sport and life
Help your child problem-solve rather than fixing things for them
Emphasise learning over winning
Remind them they are valued for who they are, not how they perform.
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Other ways you can support your child’s sports mindset
Focus on What’s In Their Control
Wins, losses, scores, umpire calls and coaching decisions are often out of your child’s control. Effort, attitude, and willingness to learn are not.
Praise things like:
Trying hard
Staying positive after mistakes
Being a good teammate
Showing courage to try something new
When controllable elements of the game such as effort are valued more than results, children feel safe to learn, take risks, and grow.
Normalise Mistakes
Mistakes are a natural and necessary part of sport and in fact, are advantageous to an athlete’s development. Our brain actually strengthens its connectivity when we make mistakes [2.]
When children fear mistakes, they often play tight, lose confidence, or avoid challenges.
You can help by:
Treating mistakes as learning moments
Remind them that mistakes help our brain to grow
Avoiding criticism about how your child plays
Sharing stories of athletes who struggled before succeeding
A simple reminder like “Mistakes mean you’re learning” can go a long way.
Support Independence and Ownership
As tempting as it is to step in, young athletes benefit from learning responsibility:
Let them pack their own gear
Encourage respect and gratitude for coaches and volunteers
Allow them to problem-solve challenges
Encourage them to be the best team-mate they can be
This builds resilience, accountability, and self-belief—skills that transfer far beyond sport.
Keep Sport Fun!
At its core, youth sport should be enjoyable. When fun disappears, motivation usually follows, and is a contributing factor to the global decline of participation rates of young people playing sport. Support balance, rest, and other interests, and keep sport simple.
A positive mindset grows best in an environment where children feel supported, not pressured.
And remember – you know your child best, and you are doing the best you can with the knowledge, experience and resources that you have. Trust yourself and your parenting, and remember that supporting your child to play sport is one of the greatest gifts you can give them in life.
References:
[1] Gao, Z., Chee, C.S., Wazir, M.R.W.M., Wang, J., Zheng, X. , Wang, T. (2024). The role of parents in the motivation of young athletes: a systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology (14). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10800670/
[2] Moser, J.S., Schroder, H.S., Heeter, C., Moran, T,P., Lee, Y-H. (2011). Mind your errors: evidence for a neural mechanism linking growth mind-set to adaptive posterror adjustments. Psychological Science, 22(12):1484-9. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797611419520
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